Simply put, self-confidence is a deep trust in your abilities, your decisions, your qualities, and your person.
How many of us are born with that deep trust in ourselves only to have it shattered living through certain experiences? Some of these experiences may be personal like a betrayal or voiced negative opinions whether it would be by friends, lovers, family, or even strangers. Some of these experiences may be professional like a peer or boss voicing their discontentment with your work, being passed up for a promotion, or feeling like people just do not like you.
Who has been there? I have. Your now shattered self-confidence follows you everywhere and is the base of your thoughts about yourself, others, and the world. Your bias becomes loud, your paranoia becomes evident and everything just seems harder, darker, and less attainable. That job, that relationship, that social life, that future… blurry at best.
Let me elaborate here about what I have seen is the biggest issue with poor self-confidence: thinking and believing that the opinions of others matter MORE than the opinion you have of yourself. Whoa. Revelation. These are the opinions you know others have of you or sometimes these opinions are just stories you make up in your head.
The truth is, I work on this issue with clients more than any other issue. So why do we do this? Why do the opinions of others matter so much and to the detriment of our own well-being?
Belonging. Everyone wants and needs to belong.
Love. Everyone wants and needs to be loved.
These 2 very powerful words make up 2 human basic needs. And they are anything but basic. They are part of the foundation of who we are as people. Belonging and love are essential in a human’s optimal well-being.
Does this mean you are destined to live a life of self-doubt? Not if you are willing to tweak some things that are going on between both ears. A shift in your mindset can be the answer you have been looking for.
Your thoughts create beliefs that design how you act on a day to day basis. Consciously or not, well intentioned or not. These thoughts will form beliefs about yourself and the world and determine the quality of your life.
So those voiced opinions of others I was writing about earlier, learn to forgive those. Look at them with curiosity, empathy and understanding. Once you forgive them, they dissolve. They no longer dictate your feelings about yourself, your path, your purpose or your life. You will learn to co-exist with them every day, but they won’t change you, your mood or your way.
In order to make better decisions on how you want to show up for yourself and the world, BE AWARE. Think about what you are thinking. Observe your patterns. If you come to the conclusion that your mindset is not in a good place, YOU have the power to change that. Confidence comes with consciously making the best decisions for you at any given time and knowing you are capable of being in charge of your well-being and happiness. Confidence also comes with the knowledge that any decision you do make that doesn’t turn out as intended, you can handle. Now that is valuable.
Your self-worth comes from self. You belong to you first and foremost.
There is only one unique version of you on this planet. Why not make it count? Why not make it the best, most honest version of you there is filled with joy and happiness?
Commit to yourself every day. Commit to being happy, positive, uplifted and confident. Consistently search for the good, take the higher road, look for the silver lining. Apply that even when it’s hard and challenging as life tends to be at times. Practice an attitude of gratitude daily.
Self-confidence comes from being 100% happy being you. That will lead to wanting to be a better you. Happy self tends to want to seek the best self.
So why go through all this hard work? Because it’s the best work. It’s what is going to drive you to happiness, self-fulfillment and achieving your biggest dreams.
Remember, it all starts with you… and you are enough.
As a Certified Life & Health Coach, Sandra Rinaldi’s great passion is bringing people to realize their self-worth. She helps women, men and teens find healthy perceptions of themselves by using proven tools and strategies. Her programs have provided numerous success stories where her clients have gone on to realize their full potential personally and professionally.
Sandra Rinaldi started her career in Marketing & Communications at the age of 21 and quickly became a corporate marketing executive and influencer in the world of live entertainment. After 20 years of managing successful teams, producing the biggest and most incredible events and connecting with some of the world’s most famous artists, she felt pulled in another direction.
In 2019, her journey of self-discovery began. She leaned into the direction of her true purpose: helping others.
Join her private FB Group: Coach Sandra’s ThriveHive
LinkedIn: Sandra Rinaldi
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